they're just so gay (and totally in love)
by deceptivelycomplex3925
Summary: Ugh. I couldn't not write this. It's completely ridiculous and full of fluff and goofiness with like two seconds of angst. Seriously. This is a record for me. Blink and you'll miss it.


"No."

Emma lets out a sound then, and even to Henry's ears, it's a bit ridiculous. Not even _he_ would stoop to that level of petulance.

" _Regina_ ," she draws out the last letter, stomping for good measure. Which looks even more absurd because she's wearing owl booties ('hey, they were a present from baby brother…and he has this weird obsession with owls…so I'm wearing them' 'yes, but in the house? When he can't even _see_ you wearing them?' Mom had asked, disdain crinkling her nose. 'They're comfortable,' Emma had mumbled, cheeks flushing) and they barely even make a thud against the hardwood floor. "You said I could pick the movie tonight!"

Mom drizzles caramel over the popcorn in his bowl and chocolate over Emma's (which, _ew_. Caramel is the perfect combination, chocolate is just… _not_. 'Don't knock it 'til you try it, kid,' and he'd just grimaced with a 'yeah, no thanks'). "Yes, well, that was before I knew you were going to choose," she looks up then, tilting her head with a curled lip toward the purple movie case in Emma's hand, " _that_."

"It's an awesome movie, Regina, seriously. I watched it last night to make sure." Emma puts on that pout, that head tilt, the batted eye lashes and Henry counts _one, two, thr –_

"Oh, _fine_ ," Mom huffs, grabbing their bowls and brushing past them to the living room.

Emma gives a little whoop and a fist pump, grinning like a mad woman, and Henry shakes his head, wondering if Emma knew that she could get Mom to literally paint the whole house orange if she looked at Mom like that long enough.

He's also a little offended. "What the hell. One little pout and she caves?"

Emma smirks then, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Looks like I'm cuter than you, kid. Don't be upset," she ruffles his hair and he swats at her, "it was only a matter of time. Also hell counts as a swear word."

He ducks out of her embrace, glaring at her back as he fixes his hair – _honestly_ , he had tried this thing with his bangs earlier that morning with gel and Emma'd _totally_ just screwed it up.

Emma's on the couch next to Mom, crunching happily at her popcorn as Mom puts the DVD in.

He plops next to Emma and she hands him his bowl as Mom comes and sits on the other side of her, looking wholly irritated with the whole situation.

"Relax, woman. By the end of it you'll be singing along and bobbing that sock-clad foot of yours." Emma flashes a grin and Mom rolls her eyes as she steals a few pieces of popcorn from Emma's bowl. Seriously, was he the only one who found that shit nasty?

#

" _Emma_!" Mom screeches not five minutes into the movie. Ma's laughing, looking half a second away from choking on her popcorn as she belatedly attempts to cover Mom's eyes.

"Whoops, don't look, Regina," she says, laughter in every syllable. Mom smacks at her hands and gives her best 'I hate you but really I love you so I'm only going to pretend that this glare is out of disdain and not total, complete affection, oh idiot of mine' glare and really, Henry could have used a warning too. The uptight blonde just projectile vomited and though he's kind of impressed at the skill – and the CGI there – he's no longer in the mood for his caramel popcorn and sits it on the coffee table in front of him with a grimace.

"That was absolutely disgusting," Mom says, crossing her arms but her eyes are still on the screen as the opening credits roll.

Henry's fingers tap out to the beat on the arm of the sofa and maybe Mom's foot isn't bobbing yet, but his and Ma's totally are.

#

"What is with this 'aca' phrase? Are they going to be saying that throughout the entire movie?"

"Yes, now shut up and watch."

Mom looks affronted, mouth agape, and Henry muffles a chuckle with his hand.

#

"Ma, are you – are you quoting the words?"

Emma whips her head to look at him, eyes wide. "Wha – no!"

"You totally are."

"I thought you said you'd only seen this once?" Mom asks, and in the flickering light coming from the TV, Henry can see her smirk.

"It's a really good movie!" Henry's positive she's blushing.

#

"Oh my god," Henry says not ten minutes later, eyes continuously going from the movie to Emma and back again, "you're only quoting the alt girl's lines!"

She sinks into the cushions. "Kid, leave me alone and watch the freaking movie."

Mom chuckles, finding his eyes over Ma's shoulders.

"And her name's Beca," she grumbles a few seconds later.

#

"What is this rated?" Mom asks with a gasp.

"PG-13, calm down. It's not even showing anything."

Henry's totally cool with this shower scene. Mom's not. She's kind of fidgeting and keeps scooting away from Ma.

Ma's playing with her fingers too though and Henry narrows his eyes at them.

#

"I think Beca and Chloe should get together." Because he's starting to realize why Emma likes this movie so much and he's totally going to use it to his advantage.

Emma chokes on her beer and Mom waves her hand, drying up the spots where it dribbled on her V-neck. Henry arches a brow at the reaction.

"What?" He shrugs, gestures toward the TV. "They literally almost just made out."

"What, no. They're just friends," Ma says a little too quickly, sitting her bottle down and wiping at her mouth. She _totally_ ships them.

"Didn't look very _friendly_ to me," he muses.

Emma kind of coughs a little and shifts further into the couch, eyes darting over to Mom before going back to the movie. Mom hasn't taken her eyes off of it the entire time. She actually looks like she's purposefully keeping every inch of her body from touching Ma and _honestly_ , they're both just _so_ _gay_.

This movie is _so_ _gay_. Emma has seen it probably at least fifty times. And her favorite character is the also extremely gay, plaid wearing one. Everything is just so blatantly _gay_ and he doesn't understand how they don't _see_ _it_.

 _Ugh_.

#

"Dude, Aubrey's a total bitch," he comments when the blonde makes that girl with the chair cry. He's totally with the Beca chick on this.

"Henry!" Mom admonishes and _shit_ he forgot she was there. He hates the 'no cussing' rule and isn't sure why it's even a thing when he and Ma both know that out of the three of them, Mom's the one with most colorful language. 'Well, you certainly don't get it from me.' 'Oh please, Regina, I've heard you cursing at the moles in your garden.' 'They're _ruining_ my calla lilies!'

 _He_ doesn't even curse that much. Besides he's 17. He's allowed now.

He winces, "Sorry, Mom." Emma snorts. Henry kicks her. Emma only chuckles.

"Both of you behave."

And _god_ it's so domestic and these are his moms, his _family,_ and they're all three cuddled up on the couch watching _Pitch_ _Perfect_ because Ma _pouted_ and Mom relented and his heart squeezes in his chest.

#

"She can't seriously be into him."

Emma gapes. "Um, he's adorable and he makes her laugh."

"He looks like a gerbil."

Henry kind of has to agree.

"Excuse me?! Do you need to go grab your glasses and put them on?"

Mom just laughs and shakes her head. "You always have had terrible taste in men."

And yeah okay Mom, let's just be a little bit more subtle, I don't think Ma got the hint there.

#

"I do not have terrible taste in men," Ma mutters about twenty minutes after Mom had said that.

"Hook, Walsh, that guy from the pastry sh – " Henry ticks off with his fingers.

"I didn't ever _date_ Tom," Ma says. Mom looks like she's trying not to laugh out loud. She kind of fails when her voice wobbles.

"You dated someone name _Tom_? And he worked at a _pastry_ _shop_?"

"I didn't ever date him!"

Henry can't stop laughing at the big bad wolf impersonation Ma's got going on right now and she smacks him in the face with one of the couch pillows.

#

"Fat Amy is my spirit animal."

Ma laughs and Mom just rolls her eyes. Henry can see her smiling though.

#

"That boy is seriously so annoying. They're not dating, like she said, so why does he keep pawing after her like some sad little puppy?"

Emma gives her an incredulous look. Henry thinks Mom _really_ sucks at subtlety. He distinctly remembers her describing Hook that same way when he and Ma were still dating.

"Do you have some personal vendetta against Skylar?"

Mom scrunches her face. "I thought his name was Jesse?"

Henry rolls his eyes.

#

"No but seriously why do you hate Jesse so much?"

They're at the scene where there's some more projectile vomiting and the weird girl is making snow angels in it and he's starting to wonder if this might become a phobia of his.

"Because he's annoying and I agree with Henry that Beca should be with Chloe."

Henry snaps his head around so quickly he's half concerned he's given himself whiplash.

" _What_?" He and Ma say at the same time.

Mom just shrugs, looking completely composed and not at all embarrassed. "They make more sense than Beca and Jesse do."

It's then that Henry wonders if Mom is being so-not-subtle on purpose.

#

"See, she kissed him. They're totally in love."

Mom snorts. "I think your taste in movies could give your taste in men a run for its money."

Henry feels Ma stiffen beside him. _Uh_ _oh_.

"Yeah, well at least I didn't ever fall for a married man who made me his second choice every goddamned time he got one."

Ma is up and storming out of the living room the next second, leaving Mom blinking in silent shock. The ending credits roll. Henry feels his stomach bottom out.

#

"Why don't you go upstairs, sweetheart?" She gives him a smile and it doesn't look even kind of convincing. "I'll go talk to Emma."

He watches as she picks up their bowls and makes her way toward the kitchen.

He waits a beat. Then two. And then he tiptoes carefully through the dining room and presses against the wall that leads to the kitchen, hearing the soft clinks of the bowls as Mom sets them in the sink.

"Well, that was all a little melodramatic don't you think?"

And god. _Mom_.

"Seriously? Regina, you've been insulting me the entire movie. What the hell even _is_ that by the way?!"

He hears Mom sigh and he imagines her pinching at the bridge of her nose or closing her eyes.

"Okay," Mom says. It sounds a little strained. "I'm sorry. You're right. That was…uncalled for."

There's a beat of silence before a halted, "thank you."

There's another beat of silence, and another, and another and then he hears Emma give a rough chuckle followed by a soft "well, this is awkward," and _jesus_ _christ_ does he have to do _everything_ around here?

He rounds the corner, completely fed up. Like, they do this movie night every Friday. Ma's at the house more times than she's not. She has a _toothbrush_ here. Her and Mom go out to lunch. _Every_ _day_.

"Oh my god, you two are actually _ridiculous_ ," he says, hands flying up and slapping back down to his cotton sweats.

They both jump. They're by the sink. Like feet away from each other.

 _Seriously_?

"Henry, what are you – "

He gestures toward Mom, cutting her off. "You were being an asshole because you're still jealous of Hook." Mom sputters and Ma's eyes widen. Henry locks eyes with Emma next. "And you were totally over doing it with the whole 'oh, he's adorable and totally the one for Beca' thing. You literally only like that movie because of Anna Kendrick, which is like _really_ gay, Ma."

They're both looking at him like he's just told them he killed his grandparents with his bare hands and he's not finished.

"Also you're both totally in love with each other and if you could like, you know, take your heads out of your _asses_ and freaking like hug or kiss or get married or _whatever_ ," he scrunches his face up and motions toward them, "that'd be really great."

He feels _exhausted_ suddenly and he blows out a long breath before fixing his stock-still mothers with a stern look. "I'm going to bed now. Whatever you're about to do, be quiet about it."

Then he stomps off and up the stairs, silently making a vow to _never_ be as oblivious as them when it comes to love.

#

He's a little worried when he wakes up the next morning.

Now that's he's had a good nine hours of sleep, he realizes he'd been a tad brazen last night.

But as he makes his way down the stairs he smells maple and coffee and when he rounds the corner into the kitchen he kind of stops short and blinks.

Because Ma's got her arms wrapped around Mom from behind as she flips what Henry now recognizes is her famous maple pancakes and Mom's actually just _giggled_ and _holy shit it worked_.

And then Ma's nuzzling at Mom's neck, followed by kissing and this seriously _gross_ smacking sound and he coughs so they'll _please_ , _stop_ _doing_ _that_ _in front of him._

Ma jumps backward, hand flying to her chest, and Mom blushes and tucks a thick of her kind of messy hair behind her ear.

"Henry," she breathes, kind of pressing her lips together as if to – nope, nope. Ew. Okay, ew. He's seriously rethinking his speech last night.

He loves them and he's really, _really_ glad (and relieved because _finally_ ) that they're like aware and in love and stuff but he doesn't need to see or _hear_ it.

"I'm half-awake with no food in me. Pancakes first, then you guys can give me whatever speech I know you've got planned."

They both blink at him and then Emma shakes her head, chuckling softly. She ruffles at the hair at the nape of his neck and he halfheartedly ducks away from it.

"You're a bit too perceptive, kid, you know that?"

He smirks then, taking the fork and plate of pancakes Mom hands to him.

"Adds to my overall charm," he says and then takes a huge bite, grinning through his chewing as Emma rolls her eyes and Mom gives him a reproachful head tilt and yeah, it's just like it always is.

Except now when Mom looks over at Ma, it's with unbridled, completely open affection.

Now when Ma rests a hand at the small of Mom's back as they drink their coffee together, Mom leans back into the embrace and it turns into Ma wrapping her arm around her waist and a contented smile meeting both their lips.

"So, wanna watch Pitch Perfect 2? He asks with a smile.

"Is the beard in it?"

Emma rolls her eyes. Henry joins her.

They watch it later that night and Mom falls asleep in Ma's arms.

He covers them up and turns off the TV before making his way upstairs.

The next morning Ma's toothbrush isn't in the guest bathroom anymore.

Henry smiles, the scent of bacon and the sound of Mom's soft laughter filtering in from the kitchen infusing a warmth inside of him that he wants to keep feeling for a very long time.

When Mom greets him with a "good morning, sweetheart" and Ma gives him a matching "morning, kid" he knows he's going to.


End file.
